Thursday, May 29, 2014

Putting it on Burning it Off

A while ago I read an Article on yoyo diet. It described people who shed weight on an impulse but do not have the staying power and so soon bounce back to their chubby selfs. It warned against quick weight loss diets stating some long term hazards of such manuovers. I was amused by it and pretty smug in my ability to keep my waistline. 

Alas! Ever since I landed here, I've fallen prey to the rich food and generous helpings served at the local restaurants. I prided myself in my ability to burn it all on a treadmill. But despite my best attempts, the fat seems to stick refusing to vaporise. 

I've now come to believe the reason I could stay slim all these years was not so much due to my ability to burn but my extremely boring diet. Day after day, year after year I ate egg white bhurji and 3 chapatis in my lunch. So much so that my lunch partners marveled at my darb routine. In dinner 5 days a week I ate salad. All in all same shit 5 days a week kept the flab away. 

Not any more. I seem to be wilting in this summer heat in Abu Dhabi and it'll take some serious and boring lifestyle changes to stay in my pants ;)

Friday, May 23, 2014

Prayers and Promises

Back in 2006 when I was going through the self inflicted paranoia, I turned  to god. I've confessed before, I'm not a religious man, but I'm a man of faith. I prayed to him hard and with all sincerity I could muster. I said to Him " No one in my family including my daughter, my wife and myself should ever be... Neither in the past, nor in the present nor in the future...". And God bailed me out. It took me time to realize and believe that I've been saved.

Later as time went by, the prayers changed. I moved on from the above to asking different things. They reflect my personal aspirations, family commitments and promises to self. I've asked to us to be together and happy. I asked for my daughter to have stable environment. I'm always afraid that somewhere in course of time, my daughter will drift away from me(emotionally). I've prayed for us to be together and me playing a constructive role in her life. I've asked for my wife to find a good job and be happy in it. I've asked for us to be together and happy as a family. I've asked for maids to stay so that my daughter could get some stability. I've asked for myself that "I do something more challenging, rewarding and satisfying...". For most part these were in harmony with each other. My prayer for personal growth, did not conflict in any way with my family commitments.

Then times changed. We had a few crises and I was not sure any more of what I wanted for self and family. I was ambivalent. During the rough times in the family I left it to God to decide if staying together is what he wanted me to do.

A few months ago, when the Abu Dhabi opportunity came up, I wasn't sure I wanted to take it up. It reflected a contradiction between my personal goals and my family priorities. How could I ask for stability for my daughter as I was the one rocking the boat. How could I ask for my wife to have a successful career when I was uprooting her. And yet how could I not accept this offer when this gave me the break I wanted for myself.

When I reached here I changed my prayers once again. I wanted my daughter to find happiness here. I wanted my wife to find a good job here. I wanted us to be together here and happy. I had preferred personal ambition over the family. There were some mitigating factors. I knew my daughter was losing her friend in India as our neighbors were moving to the US. So perhaps moving here may not be that bad for her. My wife had a tough / unreasonable boss who she hated and at some time was seriously contemplating quitting. I thought she may want to make a new beginning here. I spoke to my wife at length before accepting this offer and we agreed, this was the way to go. All in all it seemed plausible and even desirable to be here together as a family.

Earlier this month my family visited me here. My wife liked certain things about Abu Dhabi. I was happy she thought she could move here. They left last weekend and she joined the office this monday when she heard the news. Her boss was moved out of her area and her new boss seems to be a good person to work with. Not only her boss but her role may change a bit. She may get elevated in her role if not her designation. It was overall good news for her.But then there is the price. It now seems a better proposition to stay in her current job and grow.

For the last few days I'm confused. I'm in search of the right wish, the right prayer and a promise...

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Month 109 1st Year Gone By

So I reach my first milestone on this journey. Its been of year of hope and despair, endings and new beginnings, bitter truths, compromises and uncertainties . I hit a few low notes half way through the year. The desperation of Oct-Dec, the fears of Feb and March. Doing things against my principles. Facing up to them.

In the end, I've reached a trajectory that I think will help me deliver what I hoped for in the next 9 years. Challenges exist. My family will be uprooted. Honestly, they were well settled in Mumbai. Abu Dhabi will be be a challenge for them. I'm staying alone here for at least a year. The typical challenges of settling in.

The job all said and done is still a new challenge, too many concurrent threads. I need to balance multiple programs.But thats part of work life.Lets see how it goes.

Tuesday, May 06, 2014

Family Visit

The good news is that my family is here. On vacation. The bad news is they are bored. Now I can't afford them to think negative about this place. They plan to move in next year and I'd like them to enjoy their stay and look fwd to the impending relocation. 
But that's not so. Wife of a friend has already spooked my wife about the most important things. Quality of education for my daughter and work opty for her. 
To add to it, the internet / cable in my brand new house does not work. There is a cabling issue and neither Etisalat nor my owner have done anything about it. 
I'm using iPhone personal hotspot to connect to the internet. That works but is severely restrictive. 
It's just their 4th day and the signs of fatigue are setting in. The fact that my wife has to do all the chores is not helping either. 
Hope they are able to get past this brush with reality. Else we're doomed.