Why 2:06:47? Collapse of Will! Why??
At the end of 16, I checked my time. I was 2 min behind schedule. 5 Kms 28 min. I'd have preferred 30 min and I know I'm unlikely to recover.
I do not quit on a race, even when practicing. But this was different. I prepped the entire year for this day and then to miss it by a min or 2. Again. It was a moment of exasperation, hopelessness and defeat and I stopped in my tracks. Literally. Illness, stress... There can be any number of reasons. None matter. Only the outcome. And I knew then, I had nothing to show.
I walked from 17 to 18. Actually ambled. In the mean time, something healed within and I ran again. That's why just 7 min over. Otherwise, I might not have completed the run.
I'm still struggling to come to terms with it. 3 years now. 3 runs. I'm only getting older. My knees hurt that day. After a long while they gave up on me too.
Will there be a next time? Can I keep going without an aim, just for the fun of it? Time has all the answers. I'll know.
At the end of 16, I checked my time. I was 2 min behind schedule. 5 Kms 28 min. I'd have preferred 30 min and I know I'm unlikely to recover.
I do not quit on a race, even when practicing. But this was different. I prepped the entire year for this day and then to miss it by a min or 2. Again. It was a moment of exasperation, hopelessness and defeat and I stopped in my tracks. Literally. Illness, stress... There can be any number of reasons. None matter. Only the outcome. And I knew then, I had nothing to show.
I walked from 17 to 18. Actually ambled. In the mean time, something healed within and I ran again. That's why just 7 min over. Otherwise, I might not have completed the run.
I'm still struggling to come to terms with it. 3 years now. 3 runs. I'm only getting older. My knees hurt that day. After a long while they gave up on me too.
Will there be a next time? Can I keep going without an aim, just for the fun of it? Time has all the answers. I'll know.
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